Lost In Darkness And Distance

I'm sorry. I believe that you're the only one of you there's ever gonna be.

Just a sec!

Well, I shaved.  I didn’t get a girlfriend.  I just got itchy.

Old Yeller (seen above, parked on my left cheek) and I are watching the Mitchell (1975) episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000.

Old Yeller says, “Hello, goodnight and Josh’s cheeks are smooth!” 

I think he’s talking about mine.  How does he talk though?

Okay, here’s the plan.  I’m kicking off my shoes, popping some popcorn, turning on Boris' lantern, turning off all the rest of the lights and watching Son Of Dracula (1943).  Somehow, I’ve never seen it!

Afterward, I may watch Abbott & Costello Meet The Killer Boris Karloff (1949) for the bazillionth time.  

If any of you can make it to my house, you’re free to spend the night!

An Open Letter to Sam Pepper

lacigreen:

Hi Sam!

Thanks for taking the time to read this letter. As fellow YouTubers, we have much respect for others who put so much hard work into building their channel. It’s not easy, and you should be proud! That said, we’ve noticed that in your success, there has been a lack of…

I wanted to share with you all an entire episode (complete with commercials!) of The Shadow.  This is my favorite adventure starring Bill Johnstone as Lamont Cranston/The Shadow.  I like Orson Welles a lot but Johnstone is my favorite Shadow.

This episode, "The Man Who Murdered Time" was originally broadcast on January 31st, 1939.

The person who uploaded this to YouTube included some fantastic covers to the Street & Smith Shadow magazines of the 1930s & 40s!

Lyle.
Daisy.
They’re always watching.  If they’re not watching me, they’re watching each other.

Lyle.

Daisy.

They’re always watching.  If they’re not watching me, they’re watching each other.

Patriotic Grasshopper.
Parts of this store look more like Pee Wee’s Playhouse than a hardware store. :)

Patriotic Grasshopper.

Parts of this store look more like Pee Wee’s Playhouse than a hardware store. :)

The hot chocolate clock my mom wants for Christmas.

The hot chocolate clock my mom wants for Christmas.

Owls. 

THEY’RE EVERYWHERE!!!

The duct tape display.  What an odd variety of designs.
Spider-Man, comic bubbles (that “POW!” is curiously similar to one I drew recently), Spongebob Squarepants and Great Britain.

The duct tape display.  What an odd variety of designs.

Spider-Man, comic bubbles (that “POW!” is curiously similar to one I drew recently), Spongebob Squarepants and Great Britain.

Had a look around the pet supplies section in the store today.  They really should’ve tacked another “i” on the end of his name.  “Teenie Sardini” has a ring to it!

Tonight’s “Big Yellow M&M Cinema” selection…

The Adventures Of Robin Hood (1938).

image

image

This yellow M&M is going to be with me for a while.  I have foreseeeeeen it!

You should be quoting The Adventures Of Robin Hood, Josh, not Return Of The Jedi!

Lady Marian: “Why, you speak treason!”

Robin Hood: “Fluently.”

There!  Goodnight, you.  Yes, you.

Anonymous asked: Hi Josh, I'm Anon from CT. I am from Connecticut, so I sign as Anon from CT. CT, in this case, serves to distinguish me from all other anons, presumably because nobody else would sign as, "Anon, from CT". I appreciate your acknowledgement of my previous posts. Also, I saw the postcards you posted from the Great Smoky Mountains, which is a coincidence: I went to the Great Smoky Mountains this summer, and it was very beautiful. Thanks for continuing this blog, and I hope to see your next videos!

May I call you Francene?

It’s a strange request, I know but, you see…well, I guess this admission will make things even stranger.  You see…I’m not really this Josh cat from Detroit.  I WISH I was hard enough to make it in “The D” - it’s so cold there!  No, the truth is I’m only pretending to be a 31 year old Phil Collins impersonator.  I’m actually an alien named Klorbyztak Bluefield the 14th, of the planet Zeroxiblan-Mytoo.  I’m on an 888 year mission to make Earthlings feel better about themselves by being their world’s biggest loser. 

Back to my request.  Okay, the rough English translation of the Zeroxiblan-Mytoothian term, “Francene”, is “faceless friend from afar”.  I feel this interstellar monicker will further distinguish you from all other “Anons”. :)

Whaddaya say?! (Zeroxiblan-Mytoothian translation:  “Sleep on it and get back with me in the morning, you voyeuristic Earthling.”)

A joke I wanted to share with you all.  It’s from a Redd Foxx album. :)

Please Arrive. I Need You.

Jorgē.  That was a shock.  When I asked her and she quoted Desi Arnaz…wow.

I want to know how long you’ve been with me.  Did I find you or did you find me?

You have the power to rewrite my own history.

Please talk to me.

I want to know you.  Not them.  You.

:)